Old New Story and Hiatus Reasons

Hello. Gosh, hasn’t it been a while?

First off, I have a new short story up on the internet. And by new, I mean getting-close-to-a-month-old.

It’s a very brief little sci-fi ditty called “Not as we know it”, and can be found here on 365 Tomorrows. It involves trees.

So there’s that, but also I suppose I should explain why this blog has been collecting dust for so long.

Basically, I’ve spent a while unemployed, and, as any unemployed person can tell you, it’s a little bit shit.

Visiting the Job Centre is a funless, dehumanising and demoralising affair, and that doesn’t stop when you leave. Every second spent not compulsively looking for jobs is filled with a fear that you’re not going to make your arbitrary hoop-jumping quota, and that the meagre financial trickle coming in will suddenly be cut off by the dreaded sanction. Conversely, every second spent compulsively looking for jobs only serves as an exercise in depression and futility: due to the fact that at some point, “skills” were redefined as “corporate contribution”, you find yourself having to pass up on jobs that you’re perfectly qualified for because you’re not “qualified” for them (it seems you need two years experience in order to wait tables these days for fuck sake). And those jobs that you can apply for, knowing that you wont be immediately rejected, will more than likely have somewhere between dozens and hundreds of other applicants, many of whom likely more attractive to the potential employer than you. Rejection after rejection (assuming employers even get back to you at all) saps your self-esteem and makes you feel worthless and shitty all the time. Like a complete and utter good-for-nothing failure.

As you would expect, it’s not good for story writing. Or any kind of writing really.

Seriously, that story linked above, that tiny little thing, took me days to write. Literal days. There was a time when I could shit one of those things out in an hour, including proofing, editing and submitting, but whenever I sat down to write it, my mind just turned to static and it became an uphill battle to get anything down. In the end I had to chip away at it slowly until I won that goddamn war of attrition.

But now I’ve got a job, and with it a steady income and guiltless free-time. Hopefully as time goes by, I’ll be able to get back into the groove of things and start writing again, both stories and other stuff on this blog. Fingers crossed and all that.

If you’re really lucky, I might actually write something good.

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